My corner of the oval

… thoughts from a Kiwi cricket fan

“A man who has friends must himself be friendly …”

on March 15, 2010

Something I read yesterday which I found helpful and interesting …

Do you have a hard time keeping friends?  There’s a reason!

People give up on us when they don’t feel valued.  George and Mary Lou were celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary.  A reporter asked George, “What’s your recipe for a long, happy marriage?”  George explained that after the wedding, his father-in-law handed him a package.  Inside it was a gold watch that George still used.  He showed it to the reporter. Across the face of the watch where he could see it a dozen times a day were written the words, ‘Say something nice to Mary Lou.’ We all need that watch!

In his book Blink, Malcolm Gladwell writes about a relationship expert who was able to predict the potential success of a couple’s marriage based on their interaction with one another. What was it he looked for that indicated a marriage was headed for trouble?  Contempt!  If one treated the other with contempt, the relationship was usually doomed to fail.  Now, insincereity and flattery don’t work.  For a person to feel valued, they must know you genuinely value them.  To feel respected, they must know you genuinely respect them.  When we devalue others, we start treating them like objects, not people.

So what is the solution?  Focus on their strengths, and eventually they’ll give you the right to help them in their areas of struggle.  Too many of us are good at finding the value in an opportunity or a deal. We need to develop the same mindset when it comes to building relationships.

I definitely learned something from this short text … and thank you to The Word for Today for enlightening me and sharing it with me.

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3 responses to ““A man who has friends must himself be friendly …”

  1. Carm says:

    I think that is so very true in life. If you don’t have the right mind set on things and try to look at the positive side of things. Then we will never see the chance and opportunity in life that is ahead of us that we should take. Great insight.

    • Jess says:

      Well, it’s not just about a positive outlook on life … it’s about a positive outlook on other people too. At least, that’s what I took from the text.

  2. Tanja says:

    Thats really interesting and I would say really true. Cause you need to make your partner/friend see and believe that you support them and like them as who they are, so that they know they can come to you in trouble and that even after a long time you still care for them.

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